


Smiling Addiction

by BowleggedBeauty_Overdose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, Reader Insert, Reluctantly Love, Romance, admitting feelings, insecureness, life change, new life, quitting hunting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 15:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5054608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BowleggedBeauty_Overdose/pseuds/BowleggedBeauty_Overdose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader insert: You're a former hunter who just quit the job to start a new life far away from any supernatural stuff. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to let go if a certain angel would stop trying to seek your propinquity...</p><p>UPDATE: I'm not planning to continue this at the moment. I want to finish my other Gabe x Reader fic at first that has a higher priority.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Slow me down

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at short stories! I want to keep this fanfic as short as I can. I will make it romantic and a bit melancholic. Sorry for any grammatical errors, English is not my mother tongue =)

_» My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic_  
_Pace of the world, I just wish I could stop it_  
_Try to appear like I've got it together, I'm falling apart_

 _Slow me down, don't let me live a lie_  
_Before my life flies by_  
_I need you to slow me down«_

_~ Slow me down by Emmy Rossum ~_

 

 

It was _your_ choice. _You_ decided to leave. No one else was to blame for. And for what somebody could have been blamed for at all? That you quit the hunter job without a warning and out of the sudden? So many people told you that you’d never be able to leave the job behind because it was a lot more than a job. It was a duty, a higher call if you wanted. For so many years it had been this way and you never complained. Driving through the country, saving people and never getting any reward for it and hitting the road as soon as possible once a case was completed.

You thought you’d never miss the feeling of the sharp bedsprings prickling through the mattress in the rundown motels you always put up at or the smell of a collapsing engine you were fixing at the roadside. Not to mention all the fast food ruining your health. No. You thought you would never miss any of these things. On closer consideration your life didn’t change that much now did it? You were still driving on endless roads, but this time with a real destination that had nothing to do with some supernatural phenomena’s you were following across the landscape. Your new life only differed from the one before by fewer killings. Or better: no more killings. When you came past a crossroad you wasted no time by taking a stop. When you felt a sudden cold in a place you just walked in you turned around and left immediately. You hit the road like usual and ignored any hint of uncommon happenings on your way and that settled the case.

So many hunters stated how hard it was to leave their life behind, knowing the truth about what kind of things were lurking outside and if you were honest some of your bad habits wouldn’t change in the near future, like carrying a rifle in your boots or a small bottle of holy water in your jacket. You told yourself it was only for the worst case and you adhered to it strictly. Otherwise you wouldn’t be able to hold on to your decision. And your decision was clear: No more hunting, no more losing friends, no more scouring around and searching for your next target before leaving for the next town where you’d pick the first motel you’d find, getting some fries or Chinese food for dinner and cleaning your weapons to take care of some sons of bitches in the middle of the night and after returning, covered in blood with several wounds which needed treatment to fall asleep with nightmares and sleeping with a gun under your pillow – and leaving in the morning for the next town. A hunter’s life was a lonely life and if you got hunting mates it was a risky one, too. Neither how you put it, it always ended in tears, blood and guts.

It was sunset as you passed the border to Mexico and the sun rays covered the landscape in a soft and shiny orange, making it shimmering like a candle light once the night sky fully faded. Your old 89 Lada 1700 purred lowly like it would say _finally you made it so far_ and you caressed its wheel with a shy smile.

You had no idea why of all things you decided to go to Mexico. There wasn’t a certain reason or an indicating incident in your past. Maybe you had to blame Sam Winchester for scrolling through his playlist while you two were waiting for his brother Dean to come out of the Biggerson’s subsidiary. A lucky coincident brang you in that situation, you were hunting a Wendigo these days somewhere in the deepest boonies, but because it was too dangerous to hunt such a beast down on your own you called Bobby Singer. And as he told you the only hunters around there were the Winchester brothers you didn’t complain at all. Hell, those guys were living legends. You were pretty lucky that there were three of you ‘cause it turned out the Wendigo had a companion what objected the common knowledge, but you sorted this shit out faster than expected, although you and Sam got some nasty marks from it. So, on your way back to the motel you stopped ad Biggerson’s to get Dean some food and waited with Sam in a wonderful old Chevy Impala as Sam took the chance to finally listen a bit to his own music instead of Deans Heavy Metal cassettes.

“Only if you don’t mind”, he said to you with that adorable puppy eye look he carried on all day.

“Go ahead”, you reassured with an exhausted smile and appreciated the sight of the attractive man on the shot gun seat. He was cute and seductive at the same time, probably without even noticing it. In fact both of the Winchesters were quite handsome men and as far as you knew them they belonged to the good ones, too. Despite the bad rumors about Sam and Dean you were sure they were only trying to help and fix things, even if they broke it by themselves. They were brave and smart and didn’t have that shitty asshole/badass attitude most of the hunters you knew had. They were good guys. Maybe you would have even become some kind of a durable hunting ally if you wouldn’t have quit that quickly afterwards. So, back on this one night in the Impala Sam had just started his music when the song _Mexico_ by _The Stoves_ began to play. A sweet voice sang up to the soft sound of a melodic guitar, singing with such a longing for leaving for the sake of love to save everything what was left of it. It was hypnotic, calming and wrapping you in a cocoon of shelter and comfort. Until this moment you had never wasted one single thought about leaving this mess of a life behind. It was all you knew for a very long time and you almost couldn’t remember what it was like before stabbing monsters, exorcising demons and burying friends.

But from this day on you got new ideas of what possible life goals could be. That maybe there was something beyond all this pain and restless touring around. You couldn’t say you hated your life, but it became routine to you. Sometimes there were those moments you wished for having a normal apple pie life, sitting in a dark corner of a motel room or laying in the bathtub in full monty, sipping on some cheap liquor or just staring holes into the wall. Because no one ever knew what you did, nor what you sacrificed or why. And then you decided to go.

One morning, bidding goodbye to Bobby at whose house you spent the night and also to Sam and Dean who showed up. “You’re sure about that?”, you still heard Sam’s voice speaking up in light concern and… maybe sorrow?

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not like the monsters would outrun me”, you chuckled and packed your bag on the back seat of the Lada, closing the door with a shrug. Maybe it was the best to quit now or never.

“Alright. Come here.” Sam reached out and pulled you in his arms, you curled into the warmth of his hug and rested your head against his firm chest before you pulled away after a few moments. Even Dean who certainly wasn’t the cuddling in front of people type of a guy didn’t refuse to take you into a tight embrace before giving you some wannabe-guardian speeches.

“You’re really trying to give me advice for living a normal life? How to handle a washer or paying taxes? Sort bills and to not stab a douchebag who snagged my parking in front of the supermarket? Gosh, Winchester, it should be vice versa! Go and introduce some newbies to the 666 dangers of a hunter life, not dropouts from said thing”, you laughed and poked him into the side. He smirked at you and nodded.

“Guess I’m just worried I wouldn’t fit in myself”, he admitted. You eyed him for a moment and sighed mentally. You knew there was nothing else in the whole wide world that Dean Winchester desired more than offering Sam a life without danger and death and how much he wanted it for himself. But the brothers were already too deep into the business to drop out anymore. It seemed too late. Knowing about the things going on there outside they would never be able to rest and refusing to take care of it, when they got nothing to kill they had no idea how to act. It was kind of sad and you felt so sorry for them, but it was just another proof you should take the chance while there was still time for. With a last look on the boys who became some sort of really close friends the last months you crawled behind the wheel and your Lada sprang to life.

Maybe you wouldn’t miss the messy bed sheets of the dirty motels, the taste of your own blood in your mouth or the sore feeling after sleeping in your car on the roadside, but you would miss the Winchesters for sure.

“Let’s see what Mexico holds up for the future”, you said to yourself and turned up the volume of your radio. To the sound of Paul McCartney’s _Flaming Pie_ you were ready to start the road into your new life.


	2. Something to remind you

_» So this is it,_ _I say goodbye_  
_To this chapter of my ever-changing life_

 _Look at my face_  
_All the stories it will tell I can't erase_  
_The road is long. «_

_~ Something to remind you by Staind ~_

 

A few hours later you stopped at a filling station to get some breakfast. You were starving and hungry for your favorite sandwich with a nice cup of your all morning drink. The road to the next town was long and you pondered how it would be once you were in your very first flat. A _real_ flat. Not a temporarily shelter. You wondered what it would be like sticking daily notes on your fridge and making every room your own with little details. Maybe you’d even put some posters of your favorite bands or movies on the walls. You couldn’t repress a grin as you left the station shop and sat on your driver’s seat at the parking with opened doors, taking the first bite and appreciating the nice, fresh taste of your sandwich. The sun was shining and caressed your skin with its warmth and sent small sparks of happiness through your body, letting you sigh happily and satisfied for the first time in years. And then you suddenly heard the scream. For normal people it wasn’t even noticeable, caught up in the loud sound of cars passing by and other traffic noises. But for a hunter with well-trained instincts and senses it wasn’t plain to infer someone was in danger.

You put your sandwich down and frowned. Should you go and look after the poor bastard? _No, that’s no longer your business! Bad things always happen in the world and you can’t always be there to take care of it!_ On every person you once saved came 5 you couldn’t save because you weren’t there when they would have needed your help. There were hunters who broke down because they couldn’t handle the idea of not being able to save the whole world. It was a fact. You _couldn’t_ save everyone! People would always die, some in more and some less in common ways and there was nothing you could do about it. After a few moments you growled and threw your breakfast on the seat before getting out of the car and heading in the direction you heard the scream. You had to circuit the filling station and once you were out of sight you pulled out your gun. You told yourself this would be the very last time to save somebody’s ass – well, at least if there still was an ass in need to be saved, unless you already came too late.

Behind the station you discovered some sort of forest. Big, heavy trees extended a shady scenery and you listened closely to every sound as you sneaked almost noiseless through the shrubbery. Nothing moved around. After a few more steps you stopped and leveled down your gun. Maybe you already came too late or were mistaken? In in the same instant another scream resounded and then a man ran towards you, his face was red and flustered and a mask of pure terror. You grabbed his shoulder to stop him and reluctantly he did, squirming in your vice-like grip and looking back.

“What the hell’s going on?!”, you demanded to know with a voice that implied you were here to help and you wouldn’t let go ‘til he told you.

His forehead was covered with countless shimmering sweat drops and he panted like a fool as he answered you, he must have been running for a while now. “Please, don’t let them get me! I beg you, please, please, I will do everything you want me to!”

You contracted your eyebrows and threw daggers at him with your eyes. You didn’t like it when people couldn’t just come out with it. “ _Who’s_ coming after you?! Speak up!”

“The gorillas!”, the man whined and sobbed. You blinked twice and thought you misheard. “They rode on horses and came after me for no reason! You have to believe me!”

“G-Gorillas? ”, you repeated in disbelief. “Wait a sec, are you talking about Planet of the Apes?!” Just in that instant you heard the loud whicker of a horse and suddenly you saw two real-life gorillas – or rather ARMED real-life gorillas careering towards you. Weird enough they sat on horses, but no, they had to be armed, too! “Get out of here!”, you exclaimed and pushed the stranger away who took flight without hesitating.

Maybe you should have done the same, you thought. You didn’t quit the job just to get killed by some horse-riding douchebag gorillas. Without wasting another moment you leveled your gun towards them and shot. Three shots in the torso and the first one dropped off his horse, another 2 shots and his companion followed and you threw yourself aside as the horses nearly overran you. You immediately jumped back on your feet and surveyed the lifeless weirdos. _What the hell…?_ As far as you could remember there had never been a case that included a curse or something similar about bloodthirsty, horse riding apes chasing pudgy men through the woods. Maybe they were some sort of hillbilly cannibal-like mutants living in caves? _You **had** to go to Mexico, don’t you?!_ You were just about to decide if you should let the dead body remains disappear before leaving or not when suddenly a branch cracked in front of you. You winced and put your gun back on your eye level as you saw a person moving slowly through the trees.

“One more move and I’ll shoot again, you hear me, monster?!”, you warned coldly and gritted your teeth. Actually you expected to face another companion of the dead creatures lying at your feet, so a light flash of surprise hit you as you heard a small snicker and then saw a short, very human looking man stepping out of the bushes, eyes gleaming in amusement.

“Don’t waste your time, honey”, he giggled and as he noticed the recognition on your suddenly blanched face he added: “Hi, (Y/N). It’s been a long time. Didn’t expect to run into you so soon, what a pleasant surprise.”

You slowly put your weapon down but didn’t secure it, your finger still ready on the trigger. Your voice was a restrained mixture of reluctant calmness and upset disbelief as you spoke up. “Gabriel.” He adumbrated a bow and smirked. “So I guess this was your idea, huh? Another one of your stupid trickster pranks?”

“Yeah. You liked it?” He hopped cheerfully over to one of the dead ape bodies and pointed at it. “Not bad, huh? I should be awarded a price for that performance!”

Your lips twitched in contempt and you let out a short snort. “You’re a sick puppy.” Gabriel raised his eyebrows and shrugged, the cocky grin on his face started to provoke you more and more with each second. Better you just turned your back on him and left him right where he was.

“That scumbag secretly experimented with apes in so gruesome ways you couldn’t imagine. So, why not end him with some definitely not so defenseless ones? You can’t say I have a bad sense of humor.” The dead bodies began to flicker and then vanished with a small sound, your bullets rolling on the floor. Gabriel crouched down and picked them up, then he got back on his feet and came to you. With a respectful distance between you two he handed you your property, radiating like a power station.

You didn’t know what upset you more – that you broke with your own decision regarding hunting or to what came from it. Maybe it was both, but Gabriel in person was your biggest anger for sure. You nearly ripped the bullets out of his hands, feeling his fingers softly stroking over the soft skin of your wrist and his mysterious eyes following every new expression on your face. “So… what now, (Y/N)?” Gabriel eyed you with a mischievous grin. “Wanna go on a trip? We could go to Paris, wander through the old catacombs or doing something more romantic.” You rolled your eyes and asked yourself why you still listened to him. “... no, now I got it! What about Disney World? Oh, my, I would fancy some cotton candy right now!”

“Stick it there where the sun never shines”, you snarled and put the bullets in your pocket. “I don’t fancy doing anything with you.”

Gabriel quirked an eyebrow, kind of unimpressed. “Is that the way you welcome a friend?”

“We _are_ no friends, Gabe.”

“Right. And that’s why you’re nicknaming me.” His eyebrows wiggled in a suggestive manner.

“Stop it! Can’t you just stay serious, at least for five minutes?!” You stared him down furiously, but Gabriel just puckered his still grinning lips and replied: “Honey, you wouldn’t like me if I’d stay serious. Being serious is… boring.”

You surveyed him and let out a stunned giggle before you shook your head, speaking with a voice like thunder clouds. “You know what? You didn’t change at all, not in the least!” You observed his face while you spoke. “And I don't regret having left everything behind, especially you.”

“Ouch, that hurts. Why are you so mean to me?” Gabriel still sounded quipping, but you noticed he indeed was affected and tried to cover it up. You could tell from the sudden change in his eyes and the way his smile faded away.

“Cut the crap. You’re _hurting_ people for fun, don’t you get that? I don’t know what’s just not quite right in your head -”

“No, I _teach_ them a lesson!”, Gabriel retorted as calm as he could but tensed as hell. “You know all those guys I bring to justice are despicable assholes!”

“How are people supposed to learn their lessons when you kill them? How, tell me!” You held his scowling look as he didn’t answer and you couldn’t believe to whom you were talking to. You thought you just left everything what reminded you of your old life, but then – of all things! - _this_ nasty dude had to show up and ruin everything! He brang back so many bad memories you once buried deep behind a brick wall in your head.

Gabriel, the angel gone trickster and douchebag on duty was the last person on earth you wanted to deal with and especially not now since you made up your mind for a new start. For a few more moments your eyes still threw daggers at him, then you secured your gun and put it back in your jacket. “It has always been useless to fight with you and not worth the breath.” You turned around and headed back to the filling station.

“… honestly? You’re ditching me just like that?!”, you heard Gabriel complaining, but you didn’t answer, just wanting to get out of here as fast as possible.

You almost made it out of the protecting shadows of the trees as you suddenly heard fingers flicking and then you were no longer in Mexico. Actually you didn’t have any idea where the hell you were now. With another look around you saw the big rocks looming from the ground and repressed a growl. Stonehenge! You were at fucking _Stonehenge_! _Damn Trickster!_ You swirled around, but there was no sight of him. “Gabriel, I swear, if you don’t zap me back to my car immediately I am going to end you!”

You heard the soft flutter of wings and then you felt a hand caressing your jawline. Your head spun around to face the angel, standing dangerously close to you and eyeing you with an unreadable look in his eyes. You had to admit that Gabe’s eyes got the most interesting and beautiful color you ever saw, but even those eyes couldn’t mollify the poisonous heat prickling in your belly. You nearly tasted the bitter and disgusting flavor on your tongue as your guts knotted up when he pushed a restive strand of your (Y/H/C) hair aside behind your ear. You shook off his touch and backed. A hurt spark flashed over his face, but he quickly was back in control although his voice sounded breathy and affected as he spoke up.

“(Y/N), what’s the matter? Why are you always that hostilely when we meet? What have I ever done to you?”

A little bit taken by surprise about his sudden serious behavior you took a deep breath before you answered: “You exist.”

Then silence. He opened the mouth, wanted to say something, but he certainly had no words. It was the first time you saw the nine times out of ten mockingly angel speechless. “Don’t waste any more breath. Now, zap me back to my car, Gabriel. I won’t ask twice.” You couldn’t help but averting your eyes, your hands curled to small fists at your side.

Gabriel launched to add something, but then he cut it. He just raised his hand and returned: “As you wish.”

His fingers clicked. And out of the sudden you were back at the edge of the woods behind the filling station, but the Angel was gone. Swiftly you headed back to your car. The Lada sprang to life and you rushed down the high way, aiming to leave this place as fast behind as possible.

With your hands tightly clutched on the wheel you tried to collect your thoughts, but it wasn’t as easy as before.

Not anymore now you met _him_ again…  

**Author's Note:**

> Even if only one person enjoys this it's worth to continue. I am open for constructive criticism, personal opinions, suggestions and advice, especially from other, more experienced fanfic writers ♥


End file.
